Never give anyone
the benefit of the the doubt. It will always come back to bite you in the ass.
You never have to give
up on your dreams, but you do have to be pragmatic once you turn 30.
New York City is not the
center of the universe.
Don't fly coach on Trans-Atlantic
A simple smile is
a good reaction to any situation.
You only have problems
if you worry about them.
Don't miss the express
When you make a mistake,
accept responsibility, and move on.
Look up at the stars
every now and then.
Plan your days,
not your life.
If you work too
hard, you'll just get more work.
Real friends tell
you when you have food in your teeth.
Trust is foolish.
Try it before you
Don't be an acting
Major. You're BA will be worthless.
If you want to know,
ask. If someone asks, tell them.
Don't live in a
Frat House if you're a neat freak.
Buy as much Puma
footwear as you can afford.
Don't Fuck with
look good on any White or Asian people, so don't try.
If you call me,
and you haven't called me in a month, I know you want something from me. So don't pretend you're calling to say hi.
Get a new cell phone
Always hope for
the best, and plan for the worst.
the big peanut butter jar, its harder to get the peanut butter out of the bottom.
Always have a chilled
bottle of White Wine, a chilled bottle of Champagne, and a bottle of Red Wine.
When shopping, set
a limit for how much you can spend, before you enter a store.
yourself get fat. Its much harder to lose it than keep it off.
If you have to ask
someone if they like the way something looks on you, then you shouldn’t wear it.
Liquid fabric softener
is better than dryer sheets. Using both is heaven.
Always keep a dose
of chocolate nearby for emergencies.
American Puritanical values get in the way of your happiness.
got you down, and you only have 10 bucks,
new trends just to be cool, but don’t try to be cool by going with new trends.
up statistics on the spot.
It’s ok to
judge people, their judging you. (Just don’t let them know you’re judging them.)
If you love someone,
When not in a relationship,
watch either Casablanca or Desk Set at least once a month.
Always dress down
at formal events.
goodbye unless you say it like you mean it.
into someone else's room to have sex with some slut on your "friend's" couch.