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Annoying Rhetorical Questions About Life

Everyday, whether I'm at work or at play, some important yet unanswerable questions come to me. Here is an abbreviated list of those questions.

Who gave you permission to speak to me?
Why is Alicia Silverstone on my television?
Does anyone actually use the shower at Ripley-Grier?

Why does one sock out of a pair always disappear in the laundry?

When did Whitney Houston lose her mind?

How did gum get on my backpack?

Why is college only 4 years long?

When am I going to be rich?

Why don't white people run away from danger in movies?

When is Weber going to call me?

Why didn't your mother leave you for dead when you were born?
You have a stylist?

Why does the back of my shirt ride up when I'm wearing a back pack?

If I get right in front of the jetbridge door, and get on the plane before anyone else, will I get to my destination before everyone else?

Why is a nickel bigger than a dime?

What is the point of buying an expensive sports car, if you're going to drive slow?

Who are you?

Why don't they have Newcastle on tap?

Where's my ipod?

Why do my pants only fit on the day I buy them?

When is Broadway gonna call?

Where did Max my second cat go after he ran away from home?

Is it 5 o'clock yet?

How does my teddy bear go to sleep so easily at night?

Who cares if you got a perfect score on the LSAT?

Why is Maggie Moo's so amazing?

When did you get so ugly?

How can you not love Casino Royale?

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