J Pages

4 December 2008

Hello everyone and welcome back to Meller’s Monthly Movie forecast, where I’ll tell you exactly what you need to see, as well as warn you of the absolute shit that may look pretty hot and tempting, or PHAT.

This month I’m going to do MMMF in a weekly fashion, partly because I’m lazy, partly because I’m a busy mothafucka, but mostly because I want your readerly love multiple times a month, not just once.   And deep down inside, you know that love burns like an eternal flame, blowing in the occasional breeze, but never, ever extinguishing.  Anyway....
In this first section I’ll give you the heads up on this week’s movies.  But as has become custom, let’s have a recap of last month’s predictions, and as per request I’ll now include last months verdict in the recap:

Movies I was right about:
Madagascar 2 (I said: Skip It), Repo! The Genetic Opera (I said: Skip It), Soul Men (I said: Skip It), JCVD (I said:  See It), Slumdog Millionaire (I said: See It), Bolt (I said: See It, though I incorrectly claimed this was a Pixar movie.  It’s Disney Animation, different, but still good), Four Christmases (I Said: Skip It), Milk (I said: See It), Twilight (I said: Skip It), Transporter 3 (I Said: Skip It)
Movies I was wrong about:
Role Models (I said: Skip It),
Close Calls
Quantum of Solace (I said: See It) - Sadly this new Bond film was amazingly mediocre.  But it’s still a Bond movie, so it’s hard to tell people not to see it, even if it’s not up to snuff
First Basket (I said: Hahahaha.  But seriously, no.)  - I couldn’t find any reviews on this, or find a single person who saw this, proving that Jew Basketball players are every bit as much a myth as we think.
Australia (I said:  See It) – I was dead on about the movie’s visual appeal, but apparently the story is flawed to the point of being tough to watch.
Allright, this month was a stellar 10-1-3, which added to the total brings me up to  31-9-3. Though to be fair, November and December movies are easier to judge.  Hooray for grade inflation! 
A new addition I’ve decided to do at the beginning of each month is to name the best movie released last month, so that you can know which old releases to see if they’re still in theaters.
And the best movie from last month is:
Not a surprise.  But still- damn, was that movie good.

Okay, now onto....

This Week’s New Movies


Cadillac Records:  Like the previously mentioned Four Christmases, I’m tired of this genre.  Cadillac Records is one of the “Music uniting a tumultuous time” movies, and you what: Been there, done that.  Sure Detroit in the 50’s and 60’s is a fun setting, and throwing in Adrien Brody, Jeffrey Wright and Emmanuelle Chriqui doesn’t hurt, but I’m sooo over this.
Verdict:  Skip It.


Punisher: War Zone:  Ugh.  Talk about an unnecessary sequel.  The first Punisher was absolutely awful, and I actually took my girlfriend at the time to see the movie as punishment (Though I can’t remember what for).  At least Marvel took a cue from the gripes of viewers and revamped the approach to Punisher: War Zone.  When I first saw a trailer for this movie, I admit I was a little excited.  The film stock looked all scratched, and the colors were dramatically shifted and it looked very much like a fun, bloody b-movie.  But then the studio got in a fight with a director, and the trailer we see now is neutered and bad.  Hey, look on the bright side – this version doesn’t have Travolta.
Verdict:  Skip It.


Frost/Nixon:  The clear winner of this week and the only movie not deserving of your scorn.  Based off the famous television interview and the play that it inspired, Ron Howard brings us this dramatic retelling of the interview after Nixon’s resignation from office.  Frank Langella and Michael Sheen turn in damned good performances, and the script is impeccable.  Though the story may be a bit laborious for some viewers, it’s hard to deny that Frost/Nixon is a quality film.
Verdict:  See it.

Nice and easy.  That’s the end of this edition of Meller’s Monthly Movie Forecast, although I guess it’s more of a weekly forecast for December.  Oh well.  I’m not changing the name.